I cant get old; Im working. POLICE OFFICER WIFE, Personalized, Prayer. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez "There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working" - Robert Half "I have never liked working. A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states. If you are searching for funny retirement quotes, this list is for you! 38. may Gods blessings be upon you Clarence Darrow, "I'm not just retiring from the company; I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron." 30. Funny retirement quotes and sayings. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. 65 tips for a healthy, wealthy and happy retirement. The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? Retirement memes: Sometimes the good old joke gets, well, old. - Gail Sheehy. Unknown, "How do you know it's time to retire? Unknown, Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. Get great tips for managing money in retirement, What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement, 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings, 4 ways to find meaning and purpose in retirement. The word "retirement" strikes a chord with all human beings. For example, some Americans start a second career during retirement. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Max Asnas, Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. No gold watch could ever top it. Abigail Charleson. 13. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Jonathan Clements, I have never liked working. Pennsylvania State Police Department Seal So, he died of natural causes. Bravery, compassion, ingenuity and dedication all must combine in order for a man or woman to make a job in law enforcement a career in law enforcement. Tricera-cops. Open up! I am not. He says to the man, Were going to have to give you a drug test. Without hesitation, the man replies, Cool, which drugs are we testing?, 8. When caught speeding, an airman on leave tried to talk an officer out of giving him a ticket. So, I do it three or four times a day. Gene Perret, Im not just retiring from the company, Im also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. Hartman Jule, Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house. Unknown, Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and how you want to do it. Catherine Pulsifer, Youre retired goodbye tension, hello pension. Unknwon, Retirement is wonderful. A word of warning. An officer observes a woman standing in the middle of the street. Ella Harris, "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. Gene Perret, "My father calls acting 'a state of permanent retirement with short spurts of work.'" Check out our police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. 8329 matching entries found. 64. Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. 32. I can see a few of you look puzzled. Steve Young, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. 11. Below you will find our collection of inspirational wise and humorous old funny retirement quotes funny retirement sayings and funny retirement proverbs collected over the years from a variety of sources. Off the clock - for good! The officer asks the driver, Where are you going at this time of night? The man replies, Im on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late. The officer asks, Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night? The man says, My wife.. Oh, my friend, that can't be! "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. on the next chapter in your life, There's a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell! Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. Best wishes in all your future endeavors. So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. You might catch something contagious. The police are calling it an axe-i-dent. Betty White. Call the Police. Act like the inner young person you have always been." picclick.com. These words may help. Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise Thank You for the 28 years you gave He had them stumped. The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. The guy touches his elbow and winces in . 1. Why did the coffee call 911? Fred Rogers, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. And, of course, there have to be a few funny letter boards and signs! And who knows? My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. Ifyou feel like theres something out there that youre supposed to be doing, it you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. How Did You, by C. A. Lynch How did you get to retire before me? All the best for an amazing retirement! Soni, It is better to live rich than to die rich. Samuel Johnson, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be no shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson, As for me, except for the occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley, The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown, There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Showing search results for "Police Retirement" sorted by relevance. It means choice." Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever." - Gene Perret " You know it's time to retire when the guys ask you if you're "getting any," you think it means sleep. Simone De Beauvoir, The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. You deserve a great retirement, but I know you will still keep yourself busy. What did the police officer say to the hand? My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally. Gail Sheehy, "Retirement, a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked." The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. At PoemSearcher.com find thousands of poems categorized into thousands of categories. We tell 'em to get a life." Does your kid want to be a policewoman when she grows up? Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! Ruby Dee, "Retirement means doing whatever I want to do. Financial planning tools and services to put you on the path to the future you want, Blog 25. We, the members of the NYPD, present this to you in recognition of 32. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. I call it bliss." "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.". Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. What are riot police in Germany called? Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss 52. Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. vision, and trust you instill in us! What did the police arrest the hospital patient for? Know what you own, and know why you own it. Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress. Our top 50 retirement quotes, wishes and sayings are useful for retirement cards. Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown, Dont act your age in retirement. So I do it three or four times a day." Inspirational Retirement Quotes Funny Quotes About Retirement Funny Retirement Quotes For Women Maxine Retirement Quotes Funny Life Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes . Before you pray, forgive. your many years of sacrifice and service. R.C. Dianne Nahirny, "A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. All content, A Lifelong Friendship. - Unknown. "Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.". Source Unknown, Do it yourself retirement planning: easy, comprehensive, reliable. Sheriff, "Retirement is wonderful. quotesgram.com. Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." Louis Armstrong, Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. With Great Honor and Recognition Congratulations. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. Unknown, "Retirement: World's longest coffee break." Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. Retirement Farewell Quotes for Coworker. James M. Barrie, A man ought to work. 49. Funny retirement sayings and quotes. A state trooper pulled a farmer over on a rural road and said, Sir, do you realize your brother fell out of the car several miles back?, To which the farmer replied, Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!, This article was originally published on Oct. 29, 2019, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child, An American Mom Shares The Utter Magic Of Danish Playgrounds. Dwight D. Eisenhower, Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. 33. more on this quote . For some, the work itself was the bliss, while for others, the work was the poison they couldn't wait to escape. Before you criticize, wait. "Hello, Goodbye" by The Beatles. The officer says, Maam, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. This song shows that even goodbyes can be hellos to a new part of life. Funny Retired Police Officer Golf Retirement Gift T-Shirt 4.8 (9) $1999 FREE delivery Wed, Mar 8 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Amazon Merch on Demand 5.0 (10) +4 colors/patterns Retirement Gift Ideas Police Officer Men or Women Mens Retired Police Officer Law Enforcement Sheriff Retirement T-Shirt 5.0 (1) $1799 This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting. All the best! They aren't going to get rid of me that way." "I'm the police, and I'm here to arrest you. This post is a roller coaster ride through some of the silliest and funniest quotes about retiring. Here it is, she said. Fitzhugh Dodson, NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Sherriff, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. I thought retiring was when you are tired and go to bed." The Badge law enforcement retirement poem honestly explore the sacrifices a career police officer must make. The money is no better in retirement but the hours are! Two rounds a day are plenty. A cop gives a woman a speeding ticket, and she wants to know why he didnt give her a warning first. The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. Capitalize on what comes. tools, financial products, calculations, estimates, forecasts, comparison shopping products and services If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. Mark Twain, Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay! Unknown, Retire from work, but not from life. M.K. Connect with peers and experts, About . 45. NewRetirement strives to keep its information and tools accurate and up Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors? SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! There's more time for leisure but retirees take many different paths. I love you! I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. Chaparral Winds is a retirement facility in Surprise, Arizona offering assisted living, independent living, and memory care services. Sargent: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner." Woman: "I bet the bastard will say I was speeding too." sergeant police joke confession woman driver speeding. Have you been eating donuts?, 6. I'm pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I'm happy for your retirement.
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